Where Dreams Falls Apart

I'm here still online and awake in the silent night of everyone flew to their dreams. I am here brushing my late studies, because in another 7 hours later, I'll be sitting for my paper then.

In this silent night, its my first night to be still awake till that late brushing up my works. My first experiences and it sucks.

How emo can I be?

I am emo now. So emo I don't think I could study anymore.

What can I do? I cant stop thinking of you again.
A thought that can actually kills.
How terrible can that be?

I wanted to hear your voice.
I wanted you to call and cheer me up
I wanted to know you're home safe.

After the election, everyone out here are so afraid of riot.
Everyones talking about crufews
Even my parents stop me from going out at night

That's so unfair.
My dad even worse, he actually have the idea of telling not going to college for exam tomorrow if can.
I was like, If i was fate to be dead like that.

Just let it be.

This blog is mainly about how I feel right now.
The feeling of being needed

Is gone.

The feeling of being protected
is gone.

The feeling of being loved
Is missing.

But in my mind, I know he still love me
I just cant bring my heart to listen.

Is this wrong?
Am i being selfish??

I don't know.

Everyones been telling such a far distance relationships I can hold up for a year.
Everyones been happy for me
Wondering how we did it.


I don't know either.
All I know patience is the first thing we must learn to have.
Second is honest.
Thrid is trusting.

The end is care.


I use to think that finding someone which is near to you, can last even longer than having a distance relationship. I was so wrong. In 24hours, I can break up with a guy of a same city.

That was like ages ago. I was still so childish at the point.

Sigh.

I don't know.

Now i'm still studying... I'm so sick of it.
I'm definitely so tired.

I want to sleep...!!!