CNY?

Alright, Chinese New Year is right at the corner...!! But I cant seem to find the FEEL for it.

Not like how I used to be, joy-ed whenever I think of Chinese New Year. As times flows by, I'm starting to hate CNY instead of enjoying it.

I cant find the joy in it anymore nor the excitment of it.

People gives me red pockets, I guess I was suppose to be happy?
Yet I felt like owing them whenever I laid my hands on those red pockets.

Mum are quite busy preparing for CNY, and so does my Brother which he just came back from KL.. Curently playing his PlayStation 1, my old favourite game, Bomba Man. -.-''

Everyone is busy with all their preparation for the coming CNY. I was too two days back but it seems that almost everything failed me... Least I've got 6 cj7 movie tickets for my family.

I've planned to have a little CNY suprise for me family by buying them movie tickets and treating them for dinner. Wanted to take them out to Flames, but closed. 2+1 in Bercham also closed.. My Point in East Sector of Ipoh Garden also closed...!! Everywhere close!!!

Now, I'm still thinking of whether having it at home or at Johnnys'... since I have an Induction Cooker and all I have to do is to get beverages. It's going to be quite cost saving if i'm having it at home.. But it'll be quite rush as well, as I'm a bad planner and i'm not having a very good mood lately... So I'm doing my very best to control me temper... sigh.

Boss gave me a bonus today...! rm350 in it. Cool huh?? So I can treat my family, but I'm thinking of saving for my future handphone.. ish.. Teruk ni...!

What to do???

I'm so tired of thinking
I'm so tired of waiting
I'm so tired of seeing

Can't someone just get me outta here?

Come get me out of this piece of shit i'm in!
So frustrated over so many things...!!

Boyfriend said i've been thinking too much.
Mother said i'm been so high tempered lately.
Customers complaining their bloody shits to me.
Me myself expecting more than I can be.
Hoping to be a better year yet been falling sick and hurting myself unexpectedly

I think i'm going to be crazy before the year going to end....

Mum said its still year end (2006, in chinese calender) So I might still face some problems. Aiks.

Having so many problems still not enough??? Still want more? Is God trying to kill me??? Or should I say torturing me... Before CNY sick, having ' fong mok ' on the leg, twisted my toe while bathing, what else more?

Oh! Argued with family and boyfriend. Just that not with friends yet. Having insomia as well... Now, I'm just waiting to be in the hospital. What more can it be?!

What's it so good preparing for CNY?? Waste of money, time. Meet people you hate. Get red pockets, eat, and grow fatter day by day. At least I find something good about CNY is there's mandarine orange to eat!! Too bad I wasn't a filty rich man's daughter anymore, so I only ate 7 mandarine orange for this coming CNY, so pathetic. *sigh*

I remembered I used to ate few boxes of em and I always gotten my stomach ache very badly every CNY.. But now, I cant and I don't have that many mandarine orange for me to get my stomach ache. Really pathetic.

It feels great to have stomach ache on CNY, I can prevent myself from going to relatives house, seeing their fake faces everywhere makes me more ill. I'd rather get sick myself by eating something I love, than getting sick by just looking at human's faces'...!!

Oh well, what can I blog more about this coming CNY?? But I still wish everyone out there enjoying their CNY. Happy Chinese New Year Everyone.